Sunday, June 21, 2009


Today i am celebrating father's. I am really blessed that my husband is such a good father. As the boys get older i see every day what an impact he makes in their lives. I grew up without my father as he died when i was twelve. I was the oldest, with my two brothers being about ten and six. They have no memory of him really and i only have scatterings of images, too murky to make up a real picture in my mind. I know of him from my mother. I know that my dad was handy, that he could build things, that he was an extrovert, that he was a little bit irresponsible. But, i really didnt know him, as an adult, as a person. I also really didnt mourn him as i did when my mother died years later. He is just a shadow image for me. As a result of his early death we grew up in a woman headed family. We were aware that we were not the standard nuclear family but all got along fine.

So fast forward years later. Suddenly i am a parent within the context of a wonderful marriage and i become aware for the first time just how important dads are to kids. I watch my husband with his sons. I see how much he guides them, how he stabilises my emotional nature, how level headed he can be. How he can stop them in their little tracks by saying "Dont talk to your mother like that.." and i become aware of just how much we lost out as kids without having my dad there. When babies are born, i think that most women take easy to the practical care of kids. We quickly pick up bathing, feeding, rocking to sleep and soon it can seem as if Dads are really just peripheral requirements for kids. But they are not. I see my sons blossom everyday because of the role that their dad plays in their lives. He gives them a sense of stability and safety that is tangible. I know that they are exposed to a great strong male role model. And if they turn out just like their dad, i will be very happy indeed.

So to my darling husband, Happy fathers day. You are very loved by all the W's.

And to my Father, as i get older i think more about how much i wished that i knew you. I think that we could have been good friends.......

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