Thursday, May 27, 2010


I am alive.   I am sure it might have felt like i have dropped off the earth but i am here.  Just crazy busy living life.  And just in case you dont believe me i am attaching some photographic evidence of all this life that has been happening in the W household!

So please find the autumn fun at the botanical gardens

The soccer star getting ready for the world cup...

The new bikes.

And just the general mucking around!

Sorry to be so scarce but busy life is made for living and that is what i seem to be doing more and more of!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Belated mother's day wishes

Happy belated mother's day to all and sundry. I could not wish anyone online yesterday as in a moment of sheer non brilliance i forgot my power cable for my laptop at the office.

This photo is of my own mother, taken long before she became a mother.  She died in 2000 when i was 23 years old.  My biggest regret is that i did not have the opportunity to know her as mother,when i was a mother, if that makes sense.  I think that it took becoming a mother myself to truely understand how she felt about us as children.  I also became aware that despite her failings she was a wonderful mother on some level.  She certainly loved us unconditionally and despite her substance abuse problem we always had an enourmous sense of that love.  Now, ten years later my siblings and i are confident, relatively successful, largely happy people and she had a large part to play in that.  She was widowed in 1989 when we were only 12, 10 and 6 years old.  And the point is that she got us to adulthood, in tact.  I know now the sense of responsibility that she must have felt faced with that task.  I look at the overwhelming task of raising my sons and know her fear, her anxiety.

The thing is it has taken me ten years of healing to know that there is more of my mother in me then i first chose to acknowledge.  And i am happy with that discovery.  I think that although she was never able to see me as a mother or meet my children as a grandmother she came me the values, the basis that makes me into the parent i am today.  I have finally got the point where i can acknowldege that she failed on a lot of the small things but succeeded on most of the big things.  She had our back.  She defended us.  We knew we were loved.  She protected us.  That stuff counts.

So mom:  I wish you a happy mothers day.  I thank you in only the way that another mother could.  I now understand the soul sweat, the heart blood, the life energy that a mother gives to their children.

I had a wonderful weekend and mothers day.  My hubby gifted me a beautiful antique pewter brooch and my sons gave me flowers and bath goodies.  I was most touched by Gabriel using his money to buy me something small from the school.  I really have good, good kids.  We spent the day at the Johannesburg botanical gardens and had a wonderful picnic, played soccer, ate ice cream and watched the ducks.  Soul food indeed.

I also ended this weekend with the great sense of completion when you get things done:
  • I managed to finish my cross stitch item.  It looks so fantastic!  It is worth all the pain and i cannot wait to frame and hang it.
  • I put in my winter veggie garden - cabbage, lettuce, cauliflower, broccoli, green peppers, chillies, spinach and swiss chard.  Seth loved it!
  • I baked delicious banana bread with the kids on saturday.  Gabby was lucky that he got the last piece for lunch this morning!
  • I cleaned out some irritating clutter spots and was mortified at just how many books my kids actually have when they are all in space!
Wishing you a wonderful week...

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The eskimo pledge

First off I want to take my public eskimo pledge which says:  "Although i hate winter with a passion, cant get out of bed in the morning, hate grey skies and gazillion items of clothing, sick kids and miserable hubbies, i hereby solemnly pledge not to be a total pain in the butt and bitch and complain in every single blog post for the next three months."

Okay.  Thats out there.  When i look back over my posts last winter i am generally miserable.  Now granted last year i was really not in a good space but still.  I NEED to be more positive then that!  And i do believe very strongly that we have the ability to shape our life experiences with our thoughts and outlook.  So this winter i will focus on the positive of the season and seek out ways to create and experience joy in the moment.  Even if it just the happiness of hot chocolate and my huge fuzzy gown.

I have finally emerge victorious over the resident evil germs and although i had to keep Seth home for two days with a budding cold this seems to have cleared up.  This may be as a result of the flu shot that i gave him last month?  I am not sure but i am grateful regardless.

Otherwise all is well with the W's:
  • I am looking forward to a quiet mother's day with my family.
  • I am looking forward to seeing my cousin this weekend.
  • I must finish my cross stitch this weekend so that i can start on my brother's wedding sampler.  REALLY now!!  I need to get this item done and framed and behind me!
  • On a lighter note i am going to restrain myself from going crazy with my 3 year old, who has developed the new super power of whining!  He finally talks and now he does so in the most miserable voice if anything, and i mean anything is wrong!  And he also says "Leave me alone" and "Dont look at me!" a lot.  Wow!  the golden years!!!
Wishing you all a peaceful run up to the weekend.