Thursday, January 27, 2011

Walking through mud

I am having a bit of day.

Or a bit of a week.

I am jus tired i guess.  But i wish that i was at home, on my couch, with the tv on and my sewing.  Some brainless soothing activity required.

Why do i feel like this?  Not sure?  Could be pregnancy.  Could be the immigration stuff that never stops.  Could be that i dont really like work right now, for no apparent reason.

This week is dragging at my heels, clutching at my ankles and refusing to let go.  I need it to be friday afternoon, 3pm but instead each second is tiptoeing along.

One step at a time, Al..... one step at a time!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Right now.......

  • Its raining again.  It never seems to end.  It has been raining on and off for the last 2 months.
  • I have a stove again.  A new shiny black one.  Now we are all holding thumbs that it bakes well this weekend.
  • Ms Peanut has grown in size, i swear in days and reassures with kicks on a daily basis.
  • We are off to supper with a friend who is alone on his birthday tonight.  Just because no-one should be alone on their birthday, dont you agree?
  • I have still done one solitary letter on my alphabet sampler.  Shame.  The situation must be remedied.
  • My maid got baby inspiration yesterday and set up my baby cot.  It brought back so many memories.  When i walked into my room and saw it there, i could not believe that Seth was four.  It seems like only yesterday that i was doing night vigil over that cot.
  • This week is crawling along and i really need a weekend.  Please?

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Captured on film!

I need to get my butt into gear and do some scrapbooking.  Like yesterday.  I was pretty good when we got back and i was on leave and i managed to wade through all the xmas photos and get them done.  I even started an album for Ms peanut and scrapped her pregnancy test.  Then my scrapbooking desk got cleaned and even though everything looks lovely and clean i lost my momentum.  Why can i only work in quasi chaos?

I now have a pack of wonderful pics, including the ones above that need to be filed away.  I find that with the ever growing family, some scrapping is really heartfelt family scrapping and other is just chore scrapping.  This does not mean that scrapping is EVER a chore but it is about capturing all the routine xmas, birthday, karate, sport and school photos that stream in continously and get so lost.  If i dont keep up i land up with boxes of photos that can quickly become meaningless even if they are really important and mean a lot to the kids.  So i need to do something!!!

I have started Ms peanut's baby sampler so feel pretty good about that.  I forgot how long cross stitch can take.  So after a week i have done the central letter M.  It is an alphabet sampler of baby elephants.  I can do another 24 weeks, excluding the border so I need to move this along.

Otherwise Ms Peanut is fine, just getting stronger and kicking me on a regular basis.  There are no complaints from her mama because it is reassuring to know that all is fine and she is growing in leaps and bounds.

On the home front i have had domestic drama.  We have had loads of rain here and this led to electrical work that needed to be done, work on my geyser and then my stove decided to call it a day.  My new stove arrived yesterday and they are installing it today.  I think that my biggest concern is that my oven will bake well.  The old stove really needed to be replaced but i hung onto it because the oven baked so well.  I am planning to try it out this weekend and hope i am not disappointed.

But we are sailing towards the end of January and cannot believe how quickly time flies.  The boys are all fine with Gabby settling into grade two with barely a peep.  Seth has started speech therapy last week and is doing so well already. Just more homework for mom!!

Go gently and be wonderful!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Its a girl!

Its a girl!

I am in shock.  Well, i am less in shock then last week when i first heard.  It has started to make sense but i still have moments when i will be in the shower or about to go to sleep and think, i am going to have a daughter.  It doesnt seem real to me.  Last week wednesday i went for my scan and the cord was lying over the relevant area.  I decided that i was not leaving without knowing and hopped up and down and coughed frantically until she obliged.

When the doc said it was a girl i didnt really believe her and she had to show me clearly on the screen.

Since then i have sorted out the boys stored baby stuff and have bought some pink stuff.

On the home front i have two more days before i go back to work and the kids go back to school.  I am actually looking forward to it.  I need to say it.  The kids are driving me nuts.  How do people stay at home with their kids?  And god forbid homeschool?  And not kill them?

I am happy to go back to the office and shoulder motherhood guilt that will inspire me to be happy, inspired and positive when i get home.

On the new years eve front i dont have real resolutions, except to sort out the little irritating repairs that i need done at my home, survive having the new baby and the first couple of months, try to lose some of the pregnancy weight post baby and finalise my oz stuff.  As i get older i try to have only one real resolution:  To get through the year, with the greatest amount of joy and happiness in my life.  I try not to sweat the small stuff as i become more aware that most of the little stuff is meaningless.

So it will be a pink year after all....

Monday, January 3, 2011

Happy new year

2011 is here. I am glad.  2010 was a crazy year but i am glad its over.  I have a good feeling abou the year to come. 2010 saw my boys growing up at a mad pace.  Gabby starting school, learning to read, becoming such a little boy.  Seth finally found his tongue and made me wonder why i thought he would ever be mute.  And of course sperm met egg and little peanut was concieved.  We worked hard.  We played hard, pulling off three great family holidays.  But we were all a little relieved when we could say "Totsiens 2010! "

I am still on holiday for another week or so and glad to be home after our holiday at the coast.  It was good to be away but the holiday itself was disappointing.  Its far to travel and although it is wonderful to see family, I find that moving a young family away from their routine and home for two weeks is a nightmare.  I am glad to be home, cook in my own kitchen, have all my belongings around me, the trappings of my life surrounding me.

Peanut continues to grow in leaps and bounds.  I last saw the doctor at the end of November and am looking forward to my appointment on wednesday the 5th January.  I had a long gap because we were away and the holidays were on.  But on the 29th December s/he gave me their first real strong kicks.  Three, on after the other as i lay reading and now it is felt daily.  It is comforting and so familiar to feel those little kicks.  It reminds me so much of my sons, who are now such little boys at 4 and 7.  This pregnancy is flying and i cant believe i am halfway through.  I keep trying to tell myself to step back and to savour the moments as this will be my last but I am so caught up in the process of life with two kids that i often forget.

Everyone thinks that we desperately want a daughter but its not true.  Truth is that i have a slight fear of having a daughter and i just love my sons.  Being a woman is complicated and i dont think i am ready to deal with bringing a daughter into the chaos.  Sons are adoring, uncomplicated.  Truth is that whatever happens i will be happy as i had given up on having a third child at all.  But people drive me a bit crazy by imposing their ideas of what i want onto me.  I dont want sympathy for having three beautiful sons.  I know that if the doctor says its a boy i will just smile and think "Thats exactly as it was meant to be!"

I had a wonderfully quiet new year and hope that yours was restful and safe.

To a new year and new beginnings,