Tuesday, August 7, 2012

What happened?

Its been a year since i last posted.


Whats been happening?  Oh, no much.  Three kids, life... and we packed up our whole life and moved 10 000km to Australia.  All in a days work or life.

I know, it still doesnt seem real to me.  Or my previous life doesnt feel real.  I am still deciding which.  On the 19th June 2012 we flew from Johannesburg to Melbourne Australia.  The last 6 weeks have been hard. Doing anything with children is hard.  Doing something like this with three kids is just south of crazy.  I am really happy for the wonderful opportunities this decision has presented for me to be with my children.  But right now in the madness of setting up home, settling in, setting up life really, i dont always think that i am achieving what i set out to do.  I am short tempered.  They are acting out.  I am known to have the occasional crazy melt down.  I may have even stamped my foot once or twice.

I miss the feeling of comfort and home and long for my precious shipping container to arrive, full with my life.  I have realised how much of a nester i am.  How much i value and need every day comfort.  How simply domesticated i can be.  Even when i had the big executive job.

But i am going on.  Rebuilding day by day.  Putting out roots, meeting people.  I know some names, some faces.  Shopping isnt the nightmare it once was.  I baked a cake.  I made my grandmothers banana bread.  It tasted like home.  I have a library card.  I have a couch.  I have planted in my rental garden because i feel like its home when i have put something into the ground i walk on.  I am walking slowly along the path to normality.

And Lilith is still beautiful and soft and makes me so glad for her when i feel lonely.

And Seth is still blue eyed handsome, boyish, acting out more then i thought he would but still loved.

Gabby is still mine in the softest way.  He reads me so well, I love him so dearly.

Life goes on....