Why I feel completely so-so right now

Actually i am miserably tired at the moment but the weekend is around the corner and for that i am grateful. The children seem to be on the mend although fragile and spring seems to be in the air. I woke up this morning and i could hear the birds singing outside my window and i felt just a little more alive. I am so glad that my seasonal visitors are flying back to our southern climes. I know that they are bring sunshine and light with them. If you have not picked up from my previous posts, i am a summer addict. My sons were both born in summer and Christmas, which happens right in the middle of the South African summer is in the middle of summer. Schools are closed, its beach holidays, Braaing on the verandah, swimming in the pool three times a day. I know that it will sound strange to all my Northern hemisphere friends but we have no comprehension of a winter christmas here at all. It is hot, hot, hot at christmas time. We comply with our British Colonial roots and cook huge hot meals and then retire to the couch for the rest of the afternoon to recover from the heat. But enough about Christmas....... you will hear so much more about that in November and December.

We are assisting my sister in law to move into her new house this weekend. Jason is going to help with the heavy lifting and I will stop over with some lunch later. I have made a gift for my Niece to help with the transition. A soft baby afghan, made from pure white baby wool and edged in pale pink. It is so pretty. I have bought a teddy to go with.

Talking of afghans, this is the last one that i finished. It is for me and I love it because i rarely make things for myself. When our wool shop had a winter sale, i forced myself to buy the most beautiful 100% cotton wool so that i could make something for myself this summer - a summer hat, or a shawl?


I also wanted to share the newest W addition - Gabby's new guitar. He loves it and has lessons three times a week at school. I hope to see him on MTV one day! His dad who always had rock star ambitions cannot be prouder.



So the W's are well. We really are. I need to remind myself of this sometimes because it is so easy to convince yourself that you are not. I can find every reasons to reflect on this week of illness and think: "I hate where i am right now!!!". But i dont. We are fine. Life isnt simple, but sick children, the dog chewing up your newspaper, your bathroom plant dying ..... these are just hiccups, insignificant. Kids get sick. Dogs chew. Pot plants die. Carefully planned suppers taste below standard. These are not measurements of quality of life. Safe homes. Loving families. Happy marriages. Good careers. Healthy loved baby boys. Financial health. These are! And we are doing ok.

So i challenge you to move out of the mundane and to reflect on the important today.

"People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child -- our own two eyes. All is a miracle."

The plague has arrived

Or the flu to be more accurate. Oh, i am sick of sick kids! I am sick of bottles of medication and midnight coughing fits! I am sick of changing vomited on sheets and begging sick babies to eat and drink! I am sick of germs full stop! So today i am at home with a sick baby boy. Poor Seth! I can only hope that this is the last bad winter. Next winter he will be three years old and that seemed to be a turning point in Gabriel's life. He battled through every winter until he turned three and then it got remarkably better. Now the kid has the immune system of an ox. Germs just bounce off him.

I had a good but busy weekend, marred by the fact that i had to go into the office twice. Without boring you about work details I had a crisis with assets at one of my centres. The auditors have given us the all clear on Monday so that is over with. I still feel the need to spring clean and tidy up some of the mess in my house so perhaps if Seth is feeling better tomorrow i will let him help me clean up some spaces. Kids love packing things into and out of boxes and discovering old things lost and packed away.

I suddenly have the urge to scrapbook. I have not done any scrapbooking for a while and have been firmly crocheting but feel the need for a change. The local wool shop had a fantastic sale and i over indulged myself and have some lovely stuff. Will post pics soon.

Here is some of the scrapbooking that i was looking at today that re-inspired me...





Well tomorrow is middle of the week and sick or not we are defeating this week. I really need a weekend!

Home dreaming

A bit more realistic then spring or summer dreaming!

I can categorically say that i am very glad that it is weekend. I need some me time desperately. And by me time, i dont necessarily mean alone time, just time when i can do things that add colour to my life.

I am posting these pictures of my back garden and home because this is the space that i am dreaming of right now. I need to go to the mountain (my home) this weekend and absorb some positive energy. As i have said before on this blog, i am so very grateful that my home is a place buzzing with positive energy that revitalizes me. I don't have any negative energy gremlins waiting to get me there. Just love, hope and joy! I have got some great family time planned, starting tonight and some quality hubby time planned for Saturday night's date! I am also going to give the two little W angels some extra love. Just because they are perfect and they are mine.

So life is pretty good right now, because i choose to make it so.

Make your life good this weekend.

Al

Ps: Excuse the multiple toys lying in the garden, anyone with kids would know that they are a sign of a much loved space.

Spring dreaming again!!

Yup, i cant seem to get Spring out of my mind. It is becoming an obsession. I need sun! Now! Too bad that i still have a couple of weeks left before this will be any form of reality!

Just want to share some cute pics of the boys. These were taken on Sunday when we went out for lunch with Jason's sister. The boys loved the playground and had great fun. I love Gabby in his beanie. He looks so grown up. These children are much, much loved by the Mama.




The good news is that the school we applied to for Gabby next year responded to say that he got it. He has to go for an interview next week with the head mistress. So i better clean him and remind him of his manners.

I am looking forward to a busy but quiet weekend. Does that make sense? What i mean is that i have nothing "nasty" this weekend. Seeing my cousins tomorrow night for our regular girls get together. Then rugby watching on Saturday and date with my handsome hubby on Saturday night. We are hoping to get dinner and a show and then a lovely Sunday of doing as little as possible. Thanks to Cindy for agreeing to baby sit. You rock! I promise not to feed my kids sugar and turn off my cell phone on Saturday night.

The weekend is near people, hang in there!

XXX

A change in routine

http://www.smashingmagazine.com/2009/03/23/35-high-quality-pics-for-spring-inspiration/

They say that a change is as good as a holiday. They are right. Today i am working late so decided to save my sanity and go into the office late. It was fantastic. There is something wonderful about being alone at home in the morning. I was able to watch some TV, have a leisurely cup of coffee, do some crochet, dress at my own pace, all while watching my home full up with wonderful wintry sunshine. I left at 8:30 and was able to stop at the wool shop to pick up some wool for my blanket and still pick up my cousin's birthday gift. I got to the office at 9:30am feeling grand. I know i will be late tonight but at least i had some "me" time.

Right now my life is fine but unexciting. I am really feeling a hint of spring in the air and have launched into cleaning and re-decorating. My in laws are moving into a smaller home and my mother in law has kindly offered me some of their lovely furniture. I am inspired to clean up and sort out to accommodate these items. I have ordered some lovely roman blinds for my kitchen and my second lounge area and wooden blinds for my entrance hall. The cost was a gasper but i love the fabric and think they will make the rooms look great. I am also hoping to tile my entrance hall next week.

I have leave coming up in two weeks time and have arranged for my maid to bring in another lady to assist me with cleaning up the house. My gardener will also help with moving furniture and some major gardening. I feel better for it. You should love the space you call home.

Yesterday i received my three bread maker books from Kalahari. They are such a pleasure to buy from, delivering right to your door. They are wonderful and i feel inspired. So inspired that i made granola bread for breakfast this morning which was devoured. Nothing beats waking up the scent of home baked bread. It is comfort and home personified! I was also pleased to hear that i will be paid a nice acting allowance for the time that i am acting as a chief director, backdated to the time i commenced with the acting process (1 June). This will certainly pay for all my household renovations.

So i am in a good space right now. I am beating winter and Spring is on its way! I cant wait to see blossoms on my sad naked trees.

Wishing you always...
Walls for the wind,
A roof for the rain
And tea beside the fire.
Laughter to cheer you,
Those you love near you,
And all that your heart may desire

Reflections

What becomes clearer to me in hindsight is that life is about making choices. You always have a choice. You are always at cross roads. Which road you choose for you, is the choice you must make. And for every road you choose, you miss out on another road, other scenery, other experiences.

I dont always think that i have made the right choice all the time but i am sure of one thing. The choices that i have made are my choices, good or bad. I believe that i made them with all the knowledge available to me at the time and I live with them. Even when it hurts to live with them.

What ever cross roads faces you right now, i send you strength enough to make the choice that is right for you, or that you can live with.

Al

Summer dreaming again....

Over! My crazy week that is! And what a week! A mad busy overwhelming week where the little W's did not get enough mom time..... and Mama W did not get enough alone time.... which results in a rather grumpy W family, with Papa W having to pick up a lot of the slack.

BUT, the good news is that it is over. The next week is very quiet with a possible half day. And i have negotiated for a week off in the next two weeks. So the future is fraught with possibility. Hurray.

So in order to revitalize myself i want to share with you some of my current favourite things:

• The fact that i bought my first spring shoes - Two great pairs of slip ons. One which is lovely black patent leather which is beyond funky and cute!
• The crochet baby blanket that i am making that i am already halfway through. I love the fact that the pattern has become internalised and i no longer need to look at the pattern. This is the comfortable part of a new project.
• Winter seems to be slowly moving towards closure... Am i being hopefully? I know that we still have a whole month left, but there is that little, little promise of warmth in the air.
  
• The summer dreaming that i am doing. My soul is longing for sunshine, lemonade, blue pools and skies.....
• The new books that i am devouring. Last week i went to the second hand book shop nearby and came back with a haul! And they are all as good as they promised.
• And finally, the new books that Kalahari have dispatched to me..... Three new books for my bread maker.
  

I wish you a good weekend!
Al

Lucky in love....

This is late but today i want to celebrate my wedding anniversary for the 13th July and the relationship that goes with it. Jason and I have been married for eight years, been together for 13, two of which we lived together. It certainly has been a long road. When we met we were really children - I was only 19! It seems like a lifetime ago. We started off as friends and i believe that this has stood us in good stead through the years.

You cant summarize a thirteen year relationship into violin music and roses. It has been a long, sometimes challenging, but always fulfilling road. Quite simply i dont know how i would cope without him, what my life would be without him. I dont mean to come across as a needy co-dependent wife - but really i dont really remember a time when he wasnt around. Two kids, two provinces, three mortgages, some debt and poverty, some wealth. This person was with me when i buried my mother, held my hand when my children were born, seen me at my worse and my best... there is no comprehension of the value he has added to my life.

I am very grateful for the space that my relationship is in right now. Its not the glowing first love stage where you can kiss for hours and see the colour of your lover's eyes in the sky. Its a comfortable, you are my family, and i am not going anywhere space. Its a committed space. Its a "I know who you are and i still love you" space. The birth of our children taxed us but also made us committed to each other in way that i never thought possible. We trust each other, know each other, like each other. And that seems so much more important then the passion that an early relationship offers.

Relationships are not easy, good solid relationships are real jewels. As i watch other marriages falling apart around me, i am indescribably grateful that i have a partner, not a husband alone but a partner, to ride along with me on this journey. I know that i am able to give my children the best of me because of him.

So Jason, i admire, respect, like and love you. You are a great father, husband, partner and friend and i truly am lucky in love.

Happy anniversary.

Weekend reflections

The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family. ~Thomas Jefferson

And so it is Sunday night again. That strangest of times. The weekend is over but not quite, the week is about to start but not yet. This weekend in particular gave me much of what i wanted: I spent a great Friday evening with my cousin, who arrived bearing chocolate brownies (Could you love anyone more?). We went to Irene craft market and had a great day of shopping and lunch at the Irene dairy farm. The boys loved the cows, especially when they all came calmly walking past the restaurant area on their way to being milked. The boys got to run beside them and watch them drink water and do other bovine activities. I did a pile of work on the baby blanket i am making. I also made lovely fresh bread for the family. So all in all, rather satisfactory!

Sure the weekend also threw me some curve balls: Seth was miserable at the craft market and i was not able to get to some sections. I woke up at 2am with Gabriel and a raging fever. We were at the doctor at 9am this morning, where i had to cough up a hideous amount for after hours fees. But if i am learning anything lately, it is to take the good with the bad.

It was still a good weekend and i am hoping for a good week. It will be a busy one but i am sure still good. At least this weekend has helped me to revive my spirits....

Hope you also have a good week ahead of you...
Al

Quiet time

Today i was able to come home early after a workshop and was able to steal some quiet time for myself. It is only when i have spent two hours alone that i really reflect on how little time i am alone. From a child i was always someone who was very comfortable in my own company. However, once the little W's arrived alone time became a foreign concept. As any young mom will know, just achieving a bath, hell a toilet visit alone when you have little folk around is an accomplishment. Well today i carved some time out for me and feel good! It was just what i needed after a hectic week and a late work night.

Most importantly however it is weekend and i have some goodness to look forward to:
* Some friday night company with my cousin tonight. A warm communal supper and some good communal reality tv. I am such an addict!
* Going to the Irene craft market with hubby, little W's and a dear friend and her family tomorrow. I intend to do some great shopping and then we will have lunch at the Irene dairy. Top of the list is to come home with a bag full of great cheeses. (I have already stocked up with two great bottles of organic merlot!!) Cheese and wine on the cards indeed.
* A shopping date with the oldest prince on Sunday. Dad W wants to take little prince to play golf (Dad swears that two year old Seth has a talent....he certainly is enthusiastic and cries every time we drive past the golf course!!!. Gabby is the perfect shopping companion!!
* A whole lot of craft time. I have not touched my scrapbooking table in over a month. With us being inside so much i seem to be taking less photos.

Whatever your weekend holds for you, i hope it is easy, kind and communal!
Al

Stop growing!

I was looking at some old photos of the boys and suddenly realised something... they were growing up.... really quickly.... too quickly actually! I mean what just happened. One moment i was a new mom, the next thing i was a second time new mom.... now i am an old mom, with two little boys. These photos were taken nearly two years ago when Gabby was three and Seth was nine months old. They are now 5 and 2 years old respectively. They were so, so little. Look at little Sethy bear. What a gorgeous chickpea! Gabby constantly tells me not to call him a baby. He starting big school next year and i dont even want to think about him in his uniform. One moment you are trying so desperately to get pregnant. The next thing this little scrap is here, crawling, walking, running into the big wide world. Its scary stuff!!!! I wish i could tell them to stop growing already! But this is just part of parenthood i guess. From the moment they start moving, they start moving away from you. I suppose that ironically their ability to move away from you is an indication of how well you are doing. They are confident, self assured, out to explore and you are so proudly anxious and just a little scared. Its enough to make you take two hundred photos of them and do some frantic scrapbooking.

I suppose the real challenge is to cherish the moments that you do have. Loving every moment, kissing those fat baby cheeks as much as you, taking all the hugs and squeezes you can get. Love them as much as you can before they can fight you off them!

Al

Its the little things....

The longer i am around the more i come to realise that it is the little things that make the world go around.....

* Illicit boxes of chocolates given as gifts that sweeten up your life!
* Waking up to the smell of beyond successful cheese bread. Hurray for my fantastic bread maker and its great timer. This is seriously the best kitchen appliance I have ever bought. Not like so many others that are just gathering dust.
* The amazing fact that my kids actually look healthy for a change! Please let the germs find them unpalatable!!!! I am so sick of dispensing medication.
* The crochet that i did last night after the little W's were sleeping. I managed to do three granny squares. They are lacy, soft and pure white in the softest baby wool.
* The fact that my body finally seems to be managing to cope with the iciness of winter.
* G making me a secret gift that he will not show me and is hidden in his cupboard. I was told that he made it especially for me but that it is a Christmas present. So i have to be patient! Wise kid! Go figure.

Hoping that you did not have a maniac Monday!!!

I am here....

Where do i even start... i cant believe that it has been more then a week since i have posted. Work has been consuming at present. Not as bad as last week but pretty breathtaking in its overwhelmingness (Is that a word????) So although i have taken time to stop into other people's blogs and envied my northern hemisphere friends summer pics, i have not had any time to post myself.

So here i am on this cold Saturday afternoon saying that i am still alive and kicking! I have had a good weekend so far with the ever present issue of sick children. I had two sick kids this entire week and Seth only went to creche for one day this week, which also added to the week stress! Our friend is here from Dubai for the weekend. I had a lovely night with my cousin - reality tv and a box of chocs - and did some great shopping this morning. My cousin and i went to a bulk wholesaler (MAKRO) and bought a lot of stuff in bulk. My kids walked out with a haul as usual. Buying things for the kids are really my financial weakness.

The bread machine that we bought is fantastic and we have used it a lot. I have made white, brown and cheese bread and want to try some more adventurous recipes. So if any of you have any to share, please do. I want to search on line tonight and see if i can order a book or two on bread machine recipes from Kalahari (which is South africa's Amazon). It is so easy, you really just chuck in everything and let it do the rest. What a breeze! I am going to use the timer for the first time tomorrow morning so that we can wake up to freshly baked bread.

I need to be a bit more centered if i am to survive these next few weeks. I have a lot of work and not much time to breath. I dont see much space for creativity in my life right now and much of my crafts are sitting sadly shelved including the white and blue afghan baby blanket that i have started for a friend. I think that i need to try and find the little creative spaces that i can carve out to keep me sane.... the home made friend, some lunch time crochet, home weekends, some craft shopping with a friend next weekend.

Finally, I am looking forward to taking the kids to the movies tomorrow - we are watching ice age 3. I have finally got used to watching kids movies - at least the fresh popcorn and chocolates make up for it.

Keep happy!