Mom W is getting uncomfortable. She has noticed a rather negative side effect of feeding her children. They seem to be growing up. Growing rapidly actually. Does not sit well.
What i am too do? I dont want to think that my whole life is about wiping bums and noses, cutting the crusts off peanut butter sandwiches and getting up nightly when my three year old yells "Mom!!" at 3am BUT i am also not sure that i am ready to let all of this go. You see my kids are great. They are naughty, they scarcely listen and dont eat their veggies but on the whole they rock. They give great kisses and hugs and say cute things. They make me laugh every day and think that i am a lot better then i am. They think that i am wonderful and invincible and the reality is that i only feel that way because they believe, actually know that i am.
Sure i want high school, dates, the first car, university, intellectual conversations, sharing great meals in real restuarants, weddings, grandchildren. I want all those things but i just dont want to face that this precious time may soon be over.
We are thinking of having another kid. Note to all this is a long thought out decision and not one made by a madly delusional mother having a "oh my god my kids are growing up" moment at 10pm. We have been thinking about it for a while now. I will keep you posted on what we decide.
But yes, i am not really sure what my rant is about except to say that sometimes my identity as a mother of small children is so enmeshed into me that i struggle to think that one day this identity wont be mine anymore. If you want to think even more about this depressing matter check out one of my favourite blogs Apron thrift girl who inspired me with her wonderful blog post. (and had me reaching desperately for tissues and chocolate). Note to anyone: Do not read if you are even a bit broody. You are likely to toss all contraception in the bin!
Al
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