Unplanned absence

Sorry if i have not been able to blog lately.  I cant claim that anything exciting has been happening.  No unexpected holiday, no lottery winnings.  That said there certainly has been a lot happening here.  Exhausting stuff.  More then usual, which is saying a lot when your life is already a full time working mom of two boys under the age of 7!  But it has.......

First some good news..

1. Gabriel speech has got so much better and i feel so relieved.  I hate watching him struggle to communicate.  He saw the speech therapist for a full assessment and i am meeting with her on Friday morning to go through the assessment report and plan for future sessions.  I will make a decision once i have seen the report but i am happy for him to go for some sessions with her.  I personally think that he has finally settled down in school.  He has made friends and the routine is becoming more familiar to him.  I think that he experienced difficult as he came from a Montessori preschool where he was able to guide  and control his own learning pace and then needed to fit into a mainstream school.  I was tempted to move him again but although i support the Montessori grounding i want him to be able to cope with all types of people, even if they are different and sometimes not too pleasant.  I am so pleased that his natural resilience has come through and he is coping again.  That being said, i have been doing a lot of work with him.  I have been using some cognitive refocusing exercises to assist him to feel positive about school and i have cut some of the homework pressure.  I have also taken leave so that we can have a great family holiday at the end of the month when the school closes.  I think that he will need the escape.  Throughout it all, i have only obtained more respect for this kid.  He is level headed, hard working, focused and determined.  He can deal with things that are unpleasant and has good interpersonal skills.  It is so hard to see your child struggle but i feel that i was able to create the soft backdrop for a hard experience and that he was able to triumph.  I feel that him overcoming this adjustment has been a huge investment into his emotional bank account.
2. The second piece of good news is that we are planning a family holiday to a place on the coast called Salt Rock. It is about 30km outside of Durban.  The picture below is the view from the house that we will be renting for a week.  Doesnt that look amazing.  We know no-one in Durban and i am looking forward to sheer fun and family time.  We do really well as a family when it is just the four of us and i always leave with wonderful bonding memories.  I feel that this has been a hard three months and we need this break.  I am very excited!  I am taking a week off before hand to be with the kids and just have some home time.

Of course there is some bad ...
I caught my nanny stealing money out of my handbag yesterday which was highly distressing for me.  I have suspected her before but never actually caught her.  This was the first time she has acknowledged that she took money after i confronted her and returned the money.  It was very difficult as she has been with me for about ten years and has been fundamental in helping me raise my children.  I have no grandparents in town so have relied upon her for years to look after sick kids, help with holiday etc.  She really is faultless with the children, kind and loving.  My sons love her and call her granny.  After a lot of introspection i have decided not to fire her.  I think that she is valuable resource to my family regardless and i need to address and deal with the theft.  I will meet with her on Thursday when i go into work late to go to the dentist and talk things through with her.  I suspect that there is personal crisis in her life which has prompted this behaviour because she has a difficult personal life.  Of course this is no excuse.  I had a long talk with my brother who lived with me for many years and knows her well and he was of great help to me. 

And on that note, my baby brother got engaged!  I am so happy for him.  Who knows what the outcome of any relationship with be but right now it is clear that he and my future sister in law are happy.  They had a wonderful engagement party and are now planning a wedding.  The date is set for the 17th October!  I am so happy that both of my siblings are no happily settled.  They deserve the happiness that a family brings.  Now i just want some babies in the family that are not mine!  I am throwing hints at both of them!  Lets hope for a honeymoon baby!  I pledge lots of baby stuff and babysitting! :)

So that has been my busy week!  Just to end off.... when i was doing some reading around assisting Gabriel with the adjustment i came across the interesting concept of an emotional bank account which really resonanted with me.  In essence the theory is that everyone (in this context your children) have an emotional bank account.  Life stress and negative encounters are withdrawals from this account.  Our role as parents and spouses is to constantly fill up the account and even further then that, to make investments into this account constantly.  This builds up an emotional cushion or nest egg for your child so that when the hard times hit he can ride out the storm.  I loved the idea!  Now i am trying to actively use language or give positive messages that build up my sons accounts!

Have a wonderful week!
Al