Thursday, March 25, 2010

Happy birthday to me

33 years ago at about 5am in the morning, little old me was born.  Its been a long way since there and this year i officially mark my third way to a century.  If you didnt know it i have every intention to live until 100!  I have never really been one to be morbid about birthdays.  I dont really think about getting old and the numbers dont stress me out much.  I stress more about having an empty life then getting old.  And empty my life is not right now!

The fact is that i like myself and consequently my life right now.  I like who i am and like where i am going.  That does not mean that i think that i am perfect.  On the contrary i know that is not true at all.  What counts is that i know that and am still really okay with me.  I am less prickly, more level headed, more able to shrug my shoulders and say "shit happens" then i was ten years ago.  I see less black and white in life and whole lot of gray which is really soothing actually.  I think that i am learning to see what counts more.  I have figured out what i cant live without (my hubby, my kids, my peace) and after that the rest just kind of falls into place. 

Having the children has taught me that i have to stand still sometimes so that i can be the stable base that they push into the world from.  Ten years ago this would have distressed me no end but now it gives me space to reflect and be calm and i am fine about it.

So this is a post (toast?) to a good year.... a new year.....

I think that 33 is going to fit me just fine!


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