Well, what a couple of days.
18 months ago we decided as a family to relocate to Australia. For a number of reasons but chiefly that we wanted an adventure, wanted our children to have a more sophisticated childhood and wanted them to have a more global experience of life. We also believed that this move would offer us a better quality of life in the long run. We went at it all guns and did a lot of work. We paid an agent R15 000. We collected all the documents (which let me tell you with South African Department of Home Affairs is no little feat!!). We did our international english tests. We got Jason's qualifications assessed. In December his assessment came back positive. The Australian government would in essence take him and we then needed to lodge our forms.
However a little strange thing happened to me about the same time. I started having some serious doubts about the move. Not because i dont believe in the reasons why we are doing this or think that we shouldnt but just because i am a terrible, terrible creature of habit. I am a real home body and struggle with change. Also our life here is very, very good and what if our gamble does not pay off. When i raised this with hubby it caused some conflict between us. He is a true free spirit and is relishing the adventure. He is already planning his surfing and camping trips with the boys. I am sure he can already see himself sea canoeing on the pacific! So i found myself a week ago having an arguement with him about it. It started off civilly with him giving his views, i giving mine and got progressively more heated. Until he, in frustration stopped and said to me: "Do you not understand... You are the only person that i need with me. If i have you and the kids with me, i will be fine anywhere. We can make this wonderful!". And i knew in that moment that he was right and just stopped fighting.
The thing is that i want an adventure. I am turning 33 and dont know if i can say this is okay for the rest of my life. I know that we can start over. I know that on a work level. I know that we will leave with a good financial nest egg. I know that i can find a new house, car,ship over my special things and make a home there. So i said: "Okay, submit the forms.'. So they go in next week and then we wait. We may have the visa in 6 months. But we dont plan to move immediately. (More on that later....).
I love my family and am so sentimental but i also know that my marriage is very powerful. I have followed my husband to another town before and it worked out fabulously for me. We have always made a good team, hard working, unshakeably loyal, kick ass. We have a special connection that keeps us ticking along amazingly in a quiet way and he is the only person in the whole world that i would do this with.
So watch this space. The forms are going in and then.....
Right now i am going to concentrate on dreaming of the Pacific waves outside my door and golden Australian beaches.... which is a grea thought on this horrid grey Johannesburg day...