Free as a bird

I am on leave.  Finally!  I cannot even tell you how grateful i am.  I need this leave desperately.  Today is my first real day off with the kids at school and i still feel that maniac adrenalin feeling. It has not left my system yet but i know that it will take a couple of days before i quit thinking about work and all the crazy deadlines.  I am almost done with my christmas shopping and am finishing all the plans for our holiday trip.  We hope to drive on Saturday.

My last day at work was a bitter sweet one.  I did not get the post that i applied for and was told on Friday.  At first i was distressed but now i feel much better.  I think that i really wanted the job but that i really needed not to get the job.  To explain:  The new job had lots of additional responsibilities and i have been struggling for the past 6 months to achieve some kind of work life balance with the family.  I have been acting for this period.  It is more money but we are really financially stable and dont need the money.  I think that i was just driven to get the job for status or power and it was hard to feel rejected.  But i really believe that i should not have this job right now, so on some weird level i am really relieved.  I used to think that i could do it all but as life gets more and more crazy i get doubtful.  I now know that i am no super women and something has to give.  I try to focus on the kids and work but then i tend to let myself go emotionally and they also suffer as a result.  So suffice to say that the universe has spoken and i am ok about the situation.  I am looking forward to going back to my old office and picking up where i left off.  It was a very positive environment where i had a lot of flexibility.

Now we are in full swing for holiday planning.  We are all looking forward to ten days with the extended family by the sea.  Granny will be around to help with the little W's and that will help me.  I am wrapping gifts every night on the sly, have got two great books and my embroidery packed and plan to relax.  I have a feeling that 2010 is going to be a great year for all of us.

Al

So close i can taste it.

I have four days left at work.  The thought sends me into raptures.  This has been a crazy year.  Although i seem to say that every year.  But being a full time career girl, attempted domestic goddess and mother to two kids under the age of 6 has made for an exciting mix.  If you didnt pick it up, the domestic goddess quip was done sarcastically!  There just seems to be too much to do and too little time.  Since i started gym a month or two ago, my day can start at 4:40am when i wake up and end at 10:00pm when i crash.  And there is no down time in between.  Its gym, come home, shower, dress, feed kids, dress kids, pack bags, off to work, work my ass off, race home, stop at shops, fetch kids, cook supper, feed family, bath kids, quality time with kids, read to kids, get kids to sleep, quality time with hubby / turn on computer and do frantic work , go to bed.  Sounds fab, doesnt it?

So ja, let the summer holidays roll on.  The temptation though is to over use every second of this time.  In my life down time is just a luxury so when you get 3 weeks off, you are so tempted to clean out the cupboards, cook every day, bake with your kids, finish endless craft projects and lets not even talk about being the domestic goddess of christmas.  Sometimes i think that working moms even suffer more from this pressure.

That is why i am relieved with the way that my leave has panned out.  I have four days off by myself.  (BY MYSELF??? can you even imagine 4 days all by yourself?)  Then East London for a week and a half, back to work for a week and then 3 days off when Gabby starts school for the first time.  Those three days will be half days for me, so i will still get mornings to myself.

But who am i kidding?  I love the madness!  I love the chaos!  Life is short and i may as well milk every moment of it.  It cant be that bad if i am considering throwing another kid in the mix!  I keep telling myself that soon they will be sulky teenagers with no interest in me.  They will all go out on Saturdays and i can sit on the couch, do my sewing and watching mind numbing tv shows.  But until then i have another ten years or so to go!  And until then i have a summr holiday breathing thankfully down my neck!

Al

The end is near

I have seven days until i go on leave.  I will be off from the 11th December till the 5th of January.  I am only being sustained by the thought of the sloth and leisure that i will enjoy during this time.  But one step back..... Gabriel's 6th birthday went wonderfully.  I woke him up for school with a chocolate cake and six candles.  This was followed by gifts.  Jason and i splurged and bought him a casio keyboard so that he can practice his piano playing at home.  Then it was off to school with 60 cupcakes (Which mom had forgotten to buy and so had to pick up from the local woolworths after work at a hideous cost!) and another chocolate cake for the teachers.

I managed to leave work a bit early so that i could collect him and take him shopping for a gift from his gran.  Then dad came home and we went out for supper.  Now we are all in full swing for the birthday party next weekend on the 12th.  I have distributed the invites and am in that terrible phase where i am waiting for hte patents to reply.  I too am a terrible RSVP person so i cannot even complain.  So far i have 7 kids confirmed which makes me feel a bit better, at least with that and the adults i can rustle up a party.  Of course when people take their time to reply i have to fight the terrible urge to send out more invites, which will only be a disaster when they all reply on the last moment!!!

On a deeper note i am blown away by the fact that my son is 6 and that my baby will be 3 in a couple of weeks.I am blown away by how much i love, no adore my children.  I am blown away by how much i like them as people.  They still take my breath away.  You really do discover a whole new level of love once you become a parent.  Gabriel is such a well behaved, kind intelligent child.  Sometimes i need to remind myself to tone done and not see him as an angel but he truely is.  Sure he has his moments of cheekiness, sibling rivalry etc, but i know that if he continues the way he is, he is going to be a great man.  A man that i will be so proud to say that i raised.  And this in no way means that i dont feel the same about Seth.  That kid knocks my socks off me and i am just loving him and his weird three year old ways right now!

Today is international day for the disabled and i am in the community for a celebratory event.  I am tired and tired!  I had a squabble with my hubby this morning about me working late last night, which is not what i needed so that has made me more tired.

But i am seven days.... and counting......