Blog award!

What a great way to start the morning!  Especially a Monday morning.  Much thanks to Angelique from "Isnt Life grand?" for her kind nomination for a blog award.  You can check out her great blog at http://angie-isntlifegrand.blogspot.com/ .  I love finding blogs by other South African moms!

Part of the nomination is to share some things about myself and as i do like to talk about myself (she says in jest!!), here goes:

1. I am a mom to almost three little ones.  My sons are 7 and 4 years old and we are expecting a little girl in June.  This fills me with great joy and some fear.  I am trying to get me head around being the mom to a girl and what that means.  
2. I am an addictive reader who averages a book or two a week.  I can by pass a shoe sale with ease but need to go into every second hand book shop i see.
3. We are in the process of applying for a permanent visa to live in Australia.  This is exciting but can also make you feel like your life is on hold a bit.  
4. We would ideally like to live in Melbourne.  I grew up by the sea in the Eastern Cape and would love to return to the shore again.
5. I am a social worker by profession and specialise in victim services.  My husband is a logical, scientist who works in the computer science field.  We once had a real fight for two days because he told me that one day computer scientists will build a computer that will be able to diagnose mental illness.  REALLY,  We did!
6. I am a real home body that finds great comfort within the walls of my home, loves family and embraces my time with them.
7. I would love to visit Russia one day.  I love the architecture and the foreigness of the culture.

I would also like to nominate the following blogs for the award:
http://cindysmemoirsoftime.blogspot.com/  (Cindys Corner)
http://morninglorycottage.blogspot.com/ (Morning glory cottage)
http://its-our-life-for-six.blogspot.com  (Urban homestead South Africa)
http://apronthriftgirl.typepad.com/apron_thrift_girl/(Apron thrift girl)

Thanks again Angelique! :)

Al

Girls stuff

 I was reading another blog about parents living vicariously by buying toys for their kids.

I am a terrible (by that i mean prolific) toy buyer so I can identify.  But my purchases have been tempered slightly by the fact that i have two boys.  I love the joy of giving them lego and other toys that bring on squeals of joy, but dont feel the same glee because lets face it i didnt dream of playing with fire trucks, lego, hot wheels cars etc. 

But now with a daughter on the way i find myself fantasising about a whole new level of indulgence.  Now dont picture barbie castles and princess palaces.  I am just not that kind of girl.  I didnt really do the doll stuff too much.  I think that the rag dolls and other cuddlies are cute but dont remember every fantasising about having a barbie malibu mansion with a corvette in the driveway.

Books.  Now books are an addiction.  They still are.  As a child i always dreamt of having a huge library that was all mine.  I have bought a load of books for the boys, that also reflect my childhood reading.  They have all the Roald Dahls, lots of Hardy boys and Willard Price.  And yes, i did read Willard Price.  They have lots of Famous five and other Enid Blytons.  So i thought that i had covered all bases.

Until i stuck my head into the hospice shop the other day and there on the shelf were two Nancy Drews.  I had an AHA moment.  I could buy all the girls books!  Joy! Bliss!  A whole new world of book buying opened up to me.  She can read all the books i have bought already but there are lots more experiences waiting for her (and me).

And she is not the only little W on my mind when i think of books.  Right now i am in a kind of ecstatic bliss about Gabby's reading.  This year he has started to read alone.  As in take a book and lie on his bed and read.  I go down the passage and peek in the door and when i see him lying on his bed reading, i get warm and fuzzy inside.  I get it.  We share something!  My hard work for the past 7 years has paid off.  It inspires me to keep reading to Seth.  He loves it and i live in hope that we will all read together.  Two mornings ago Gabby confided in me that he was tired because he snuck the light on after i had put him in bed to read "Just one more page from James and the Giant Peach mommy.  I just had to know what came next."

And i didnt scold him.
How could i, be there so many times, baby boy!

Al

Home truths about motherhood.

The things about motherhood is that it doesnt get any easier.
Well on some level it does because you do get to the point where you can feed, burp, change nappies, soothe kids, put kids to sleep, even feed multiple kids as the table without any real extertion.  Things that seemed to require a project management schedule with baby number one, are not really a challenge.  You can see the experienced moms at the playgrounds.  They dont even pause their conversations to wipe noses, put on jerseys, even hand out the occassional well aimed swot.  No sweat at all.  Just do it and move on.

So as i face becoming a mother for the third time i dont really think about all of that.  After two children i know some essential home truths about motherhood.  As Oprah would say, things "I know for sure..."

• That motherhood is the single most exhausting thing that you will ever do.  It seems easy broken up into little parts but doing all those little parts for about 20 years adds up to a lot of calories burnt (even though you would never say so looking at my figure.).
• That privacy goes out the window when you have kids.  Weeing alone, bathing alone, having a shower without someone sticking his head through the curtain is not an option.
• BUT, and here is the real humdinger, you dont seem to mind.  Sure in the beginning the lack of sleep kills you but once you get used to walking around like a zombie, well then its all downhill from there.
• And at the end of the day it is all essentially worth it. Worth it in a undescribable way.  Where you dont want to be one of those smug moms and say "You need kids to be complete" but you also know that you could never live without your kids and your life is fantastic with them.  And that they do complete you in a glorious way.

So as the weeks start running down towards little madams arrival I know that its going to be hard work and i might just die physically but i also know that i will emotionally revived on some level, that time will fly and soon she will just be part of the day to day happy madness of my life. 

As I speak i have a friend waiting desperately to go into labour with her first child.  And as a friend I am driven by the need, when we speak to make her understand how very hard and magical it will all be. But i also know that this is an impossible wish and that each of us need to take that journey alone.  Its just part of earning your motherhood badge.

Al

I've lost that loving feeling

Just 6 weeks ago we were all fresh from a coastal summer holiday.

We had tans, real tans and we were not very grumpy.  We even started missing JHB after two weeks in sleepy little East London.  We missed the drama and the smog.  Were we crazy?  Yes of course we were, but the point is we felt fabulous.  Granted my kids were trying to kill each other after a month of unbroken time in each others company.  But look at these pictures, we were beachy, bubbly and still had sand in our shoes.

Now we have kind of lost our sparkle a bit.  We are happy about Miss Peanut's continued growth and the new addition but damn life is pretty mundane at present.  We are Mad with a capital M.  Work is crazy, kids social lives are crazy.  School is busy.  Mom is tired.  Mom is grumpy.  Dad is laying low from grumpy mom.  Mom is counting the weeks till maternity leave.  And 13 weeks seem a long time.

Mom is getting miserable about even happy things like decorating Miss P's room.  I am pissed at the sheer task of painting walls and re-carpeting floors.  I want to have enough money to go on a holiday and give instructions and come back and BAM..... it is all perfect.  I dont want to organise a painter or get carpet quotes or have curtains made.  I want to be a lady of leisure.  Sigh.

So we are all day counting.  Slightly perked after we saw the public holidays in April.... only 6 weeks away. 

We've got to get out of this place.  Not sure if a weekend break at 32 weeks pregnant will be feasible but i am looking into it.

Al

Mid pregnancy exhaustion

Now saying that you are pregnant and tired is like repeating yourself.  After three pregnancies I know this too well.  But that is a small consolation when you are in the midst of it all.  I think back fondly to my first pregnancy.  When i could come home from work, growl at Jason to feed himself, feed myself a giant chocolate and go to bed.  Now i come home, go to the shop, fetch child one, fetch child two, stop kids from killing each other other, make supper, stop my kids from eating snacks before said supper, feed my kids, bath my kids, let my kids watch tv because i am tired, feel guilty because i am vegging while they are staring at the idiot box, do the school bag clean out, do homework, have some meaningful engagement with kids about their day, get kids to sleep, fight with kids to sleep, get water for kids to drink, put the pillows just right and tuck them in AGAIN and finally collapse on the couch at about 8:15pm.

I then lie there in a daze of exhaustion wondering how i am going to get up at 5:45 and start all over again.  This week Seth was ill.  This added a whole new spanner in the works as i now had to get up at 11pm and 1am to give nose spray, fix pillows, administer calpol and finally take him to my bed where he proceeded to lie on top of me, even though he had a temprature which made me want to die with the heat.

All of the above does not equate restful pregnancy.  Most it equates me collapsing into bed as soon as possible, arranging multiple pillows around me and snoring gracefully.

But the other thing i have learnt is that complaining helps Niks!  So anyway tomorrow morning i will get up again and go through the motions and be very grateful it is weekend.

The good news is that we are going to see the princess on the small screen again on Monday the 14th.

Its been a while.

Al