Family

We cannot destroy kindred: our chains stretch a little sometimes, but they never break. ~Marquise de Sévigné

The thing is that i am highly sentimental, especially when it comes to family. Blood family, chosen family, people that make life bearable. One thing is certain - life can be a lonely journey. Other people make it manageable, bearable, fun.

Today for some reason i finding myself thinking of family lost, those who have left you already. They leave a space in your heart, your life, your world that can never ever be filled. You pick up the pieces, move on, continue with the every day business of life, children, cooking supper, paying bills, washing dishes. But the space is there, a ghostly reminder that something important is missing. Sometimes when you pause, take a breath, stop for a second, the memory of that person arrives, hits you, taps you on the shoulder and says: "I am still here". Like the line in the counting crows song that says: "The price of the memory is the memory of the sorrow that is brings."

Today i am thinking of my mother and my grandmother. How they are gone but not really. How i wish they were with me this morning for a cup of coffee and gossip. How i would love to talk about my kids and share the pains of being a woman, wife, mother with them. Tell my mother that i always think of her when my Gardenias bloom or my grandmother when i do my baking. How i am tied to them in so many ways. That they go on because i go on.

My grandmother's kitchen. My mother's bedroom. Spaces that live tangibly in my mind, still fill my senses. I wish i could sit at my Ouma's kitchen table and drink coffee with her. Laugh at the stories that she shared with me about the family. Sit in my gown on my mother's bed. Talk and laugh in complete,accepting togetherness.

I always tell my children that i am bound to them with magic heart strings that cant be broken and i believe it to be true. I believe that we do lie nestled, protected in a nest of magic connections to those who came before us and those who will come after us.

Today i celebrate those connections.
Al

Hello moon.....

Here's the thing - the last two nights i have got home from work after dark. Which is not that hard in the middle of winter but is still awful. I hate getting home late and not having my quality time with the kids. That first hour before Mr. W gets home is good Mama and little W time. Thankfully, tomorrow i am home early and Monday looks promising. Tuesday is a public holiday which is a great gift that i totally forgot about.

It may be the cold, it may be the silence right now in my house, the warm cat at my feet, the warm drink at my side but i am decidedly satisfied with myself right now. I am happy right now at this moment and just a little aware of how lucky in love i am with all my boys around me. In the madness of life sometimes you just need to reflect on how fortunate you are that other souls have chosen to bind themselves to your life, either through birth, marriage or friendship. Perhaps this companionship is the greatest gift of all. I am also thinking of someone in my life who is facing the loss of a relationship and the sadness of it.

So if you have joined me tonight or tomorrow reflect on who touches your life, gives you joy, makes your heart skip a beat. And tell them that they do.... we all need to hear that sometimes.....

Life goes on......

This is a strange time of the year. Here in South Africa there are a whole range of public holidays around Easter which create a strange mini festive season. So its hard to be really productive at work when the the promise of another long weekend is just around the corner. A lovely cold, autumn turning into winter long weekend....... More then anything i hope to catch up on some sewing and sleep! What high goals! Very important when you have two toddlers at home. I really did not appreciate my sleep at all until i was a mother. I dream now of afternoon sunny naps, late sunday mornings, late saturday nights knowing that a late sunday morning would follow. Now i am in the sleep deprived world of musical beds, getting up for midnight comforts of re-inserting dummies, tucking in blankets, chasing away bad dreams and so on and so on. Crowned by eager faces at 6am traipsing into my room. Ah, i am sure that i will miss it all when they are smelly teenagers who never want to get up! To inspire everyone into peaceful sleep i thought i would share this photo of an antique crochet afghan that i took in pilgrims rest. I think the tour guide at the museum thought i was crazy. I mean who takes photos of blankets..... um, me? I love the old fashioned hot water bottle. I could sleep on this bed.........

Last night was a lazy, tired, long day at work night that culminated in chinese takeout. I shall have to dig up my domestic self tonight and concoct a magical meal. I will let you know how that goes..........

Wishing you a good day.